I think all moms can relate in postpartum stories. Taking care of a newborn is a task but women were built for the challenge. I never knew the struggles I would face after having Josh and just how long it would take me to be feeling back to normal. Although every mom may be able to relate, postpartum is unique for every woman. So this is my postpartum struggles and how still after a year of having Josh I am still working on getting healthy and back to myself.
I have always eaten in phases. By that i mean one week I will eat constantly and truly not care what I'm putting in my body. The next week I will be wanting nothing but fruits, salads, and snacking on crackers and peanut butter. These eating phases have never given me any BALANCE! So once I had Josh I lost the phase eating I had done for many years. You may think that is a good thing but in reality I just quit eating all together. I would snack on tangerines or crackers but my stomach shrunk so I hardly ever ate meals. I had lost the baby weight extremely quick and weighed less then ever before. It's truly my fault though. When Josh napped I would either shower or sleep. Usually sleep trumped everything else. Now though I have been working on balance in my diet. I have to give a lot of credit to Christian. He is always asking me what I have eaten or if I have had water. He's really kept me accountable and I think it is why I'm much healthier now, and why I want to be healthier. So I still eat what I want. I never deny myself of any type of food. After all I was born with my father's sweet tooth. But I have begun working on eating more often and making sure I eat meals as well. When Josh has his first feeding of the day I have started having breakfast with him. Working around his schedule was the biggest challenge because it was constantly changing and I would forget to eat. Forget to eat? Yes, you read that correctly. My stomach would be growling yelling at me to eat something and my head would be pounding but I got so good at ignoring my bodies symptoms that I would forget. Being intentional about listening to my what my body was telling me took a lot of work. Now that Josh's schedule is so strict I have had time to work on my own schedule. This made it much easier to listen to my body and do what I needed to do for myself. I would say finding that balance in my diet and getting back to a healthy weight has been my biggest postpartum hurdle. Now that I have started to jump over this hurdle everything else has begun to fall into place.
Finally I am feeling more energized and more myself. Fueling my body with more nutrition and water, I don't feel as sluggish so I'm able to accomplish more through out the day. I am also getting more hours of sleep and when I do get to sleep it's always a deep sleep instead of being restless. When Josh was born I never slept. I was so sleep deprived that I once fainted and I stayed asleep. Josh is slowly learning to comfort himself and fall asleep without any help. He may never perfect this but I have seen major improvements. He will put himself to sleep faster and he will also fall asleep for naps faster. Once Josh is asleep lights are out for me as well! During the day I am not needing to nap as soon as Josh does. There was a time that I would be taking two or three naps throughout the day. Now when Josh sleeps I rest on the couch and read, knit, or watch a t.v show. This has helped me because when I napped I would always wake up feeling groggy and sluggish. Now I am relaxing more and recharging my batteries without needing to sleep all day long.
One other postpartum hurdle I am still trying to overcome is getting active! Before Josh I was always active. I grew up dancing and also go to the gym. Then when I went to college I met the best work out buddy ever. We would go to the gym everyday and make work out plans together. After I had Josh I had to wait the first six weeks until I got the clear from my OB to get active again. Even after waiting six weeks my body was so out of shape that I just couldn't get back into getting active. Honestly, I was in a lot of pain when I tried so I gave up and was scared to try again. Still I have pain when I work out but I know now it's nothing I can't WORK THROUGH!
I miss my work out buddy greatly but I have a new buddy. Josh is the biggest motivation. He is my own personal cheerleader. One night I decided to workout and he giggled at me the whole time. Now, whether it was because he thought I looked ridiculous or because it looked as if mommy was dancing around the living room, I won' t ever know. Any one knows I will do anything to see that boy smile and giggle. So I just kept going and it reminded me how much I love to work-out and take care of my body. I made up weekly work out plans that's easy to follow and I can do throughout the day while also taking care of Josh. So far it has helped me to write a plan out and when I have free time I look at what I am supposed to accomplish on that specific day.
Last week, when Josh had such a busy week, I fell behind on taking care of myself. I went almost the whole week without water. I didn't eat meals, instead I snacked on what was quick and usually unhealthy. I let me blood sugar drop multiple times which made me really sick. I talked to a couple friends about this. I confided in them hoping to get advice on how to stay on top of all of these things. Most people said something similar to, "Mia, you have to take better care of yourself. If you don't look after yourself you won't take good care of Josh." I can't fully agree nor disagree with them. I did need to take better care of myself, but I still put Josh first and he was well taken care of. I had one friend tell me, "You do need to take care of yourself but you are trying and working on taking better care of yourself while also doing an amazing job with everything going on with Josh." Hearing that gave me the reassurance I needed and motivation to be even better. My family is my top priority, but to do my very best for them I have to invest in myself as well. I hope that if anyone is struggling with this you will talk to others and seek help. There is absolutely no way I could overcome this alone!
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