Back to the Beginning

On April 16th, 2015 I took the most important test of my life, a pregnancy test. I will always remember that day so vividly that I can still recall every detail. I woke up early and sat in my dorm room for what seemed like hours just building up the courage to go take the test. First I decided to get my bottled up feelings out and onto paper. So I started by saying, "Dear Josh Carter:" because if I were to be pregnant I was so sure it would be a little boy. So I wrote how I was feeling to my possibly unborn child. When it came back positive I wept. Honestly I can't say exactly what I felt in that moment. I know there was fear and uncertainty, but also excitement and peace. And every day I wrote to Josh Carter telling him how I felt and what his father and I were doing to be prepared for him to join us. It helped me process the big news and also allowed me to make a connection with my unborn son.

This blog is to let others see this journey of motherhood I'm still figuring out, while also telling Josh's story. I would like to think of it as an extension to my entries that I'v written to him. I want to reach out to my friends, family, new families, and mothers and be open and honest about what it has been like being a new mom. Which comes with many struggles but also new adventures! I learn more about myself, my husband, and our son every day.

Our son was born with a rare genetic disease and it has been a huge challenge for our family. He is close to being a year old but some days I feel like he has already been here for years. Josh has been through so much in just the first year of his life and I know we have so much more to come. I have talked and met with families that have disabled children in their family and hearing their stories have made me stronger and given me much hope for my own family's future. I hope I can do the same through this blog and I would love to hear from more families. As you will learn while reading my posts I am very open! I will allow myself to be vulnerable and honest so that I can fully share this story with every reader and give insight on what life is like for us. I appreciate everyone that takes the time to read this blog and as I stated before I would love to hear your own stories as well! I'm very excited for you to be on this crazy journey with me.